Jagshamesh!

Aqui na Arca, o prometido é devido. Por isso, orgulhamo-nos de apresentar aqui os comentários de Borat ao jogo de ontem dos Tugas contra os Casaques. Pedimos desde já desculpa por só agora publicarmos a reportagem, mas o redactor da Arca saiu ontem, depois do jogo, com o Sr. Borat e fomos ver os monumentos históricos de Coimbra. Resultado: acordámos ao meio-dia de hoje numa pensão pulguenta com três gajas finalistas de Direito (belos cus) e uma caloira de Antropologia (só pró broche). Aqui ficam, pois, as impressões do nosso convidado.

Arca: Borat, propunha falarmos em inglês, pois o meu casaque está, como dizer, um pouco amarrotado..

Borat: Well, my friend, tongues are with me, besides, my portuguese is only good in Spain.

Arca: Ok. Can you tell us something about you?

Borat: My name is Borat Sagdiyev, I son of Azambala Sagdiyev and Bogtok the Rapist. I am former husband of Oksana Sagdiyev, who was daughter of Marianne Tuliakbi and Bogtok the Raptist. My hobbies is disco dance, table tennis and also taking photographs of ladies doing toilet without their knowledge. Why not? They don't know. … I have three childrens: Bilak, Biram and Hooeylewis, who is 12 years old; he has two childrens. Bilak, who is 13, have American pen friend called Mr. Foley; he says all the time, "Come, come visit me, I come visit you, arrange, we pay, we meet in hotel room. Why not? It's very nice!" My sister make my family very proud by being the number-four prostitute in all of Kazakhstan, and she recently receive award from Kazakh minister of industry for Best Sex in Mouth.

Arca: Very impressive! What about the game, what do you think of it?

Borat: What game?

Arca: The footeball game, last night, between Portugal and your home land!

Borat: Ah, that one. Sorry, but I didn’t saw much of it. Had a girl on my lap, big ass, think her name was Carolina, or something…

Arca: Really?, we all had that one on our laps too.

Borat: Tell me, my friend, what was the final score?

Arca: 3 – 0, you lost!

Borat: Great!

Arca: Why great? You were smashed!

Borat: C’os when the national team looses, the player’s sisters have to suck all kazakhis dicks! That’s what we call a national blow party! So, I must go now, don’t wanna be the last!

Arca: Okay, thank you for the interview, Mr Borat. Can I come along?

Borat: Sure. You can fuck my mother. She’ll be very pleased…

PD